Remember that old James Caan movie Rollerball, which portrayed a futuristic sport combining armored roller skaters and motorcycles in a small enclosed arena, with lots and lots of gratuitous violence? Rollerball was so cool they remade  it in 2002 featuring rapper LL Cool J. Unfortunately the newer version didn't come close to capturing the magic of the original and just plain sucked.  The good news is there's a better sport out there that's quite real, and coming soon to an arena near you!

Ultimate Tazer Ball features 4-on-4 play and is similar to team handball with a twist - players armed with tasers (the real way to spell it) that can zap the crap out of their opponents as they move the ball. The sport is so new it doesn't have a Wikipedia entry, but it does have a web site - http://utblive.com/. The UTB has four teams, with plans to expand to twelve. For now the league functions as a traveling road show, but plans to hold a scheduled season as the sport grows. This sport would have Tom Brady screaming "Don't tase me bro!"

...and after the reaming he took, Tim Tebow is no longer a virgin!

He was a fixture from the 70's and the yin to Ali's yang -- a fighter who chose to disappear gracefully from a sport that crashed and burned not so long after his retirement. Love him or hate him - and there were no in-betweens, Smokin' Joe Frazier will go down as one of the top 5 baddest ass boxers to ever grace the ring. RIP Joe...

Bobby Orr scores an OT goal in game 4 as the Bruins sweep the St. Louis Blues to win the 1970 Stanley Cup. Orr led the Bruins to another Stanley Cup in 1972. Last night Tim Thomas and the rest of the Bruins brought the Cup back to Boston -- where it belongs!

Meanwhile in Vancouver...

...they've become just like us!

_

No one puts Baby A-Rod in a corner.

Well, maybe no one but Cameron Diaz and Fox Sports.

Sure, we all saw the shot during the Super Bowl of Baby A-Rod getting fed by his mama-san, but when I ran it through my filter removal software, the real image came through!

 

Fall is right around the corner, and the Doofergods are starting to get getting excited about the hometown Braves' chances in the postseason. While the video below has little to do with the Braves, I can't say I've ever seen such a remarkable piece of fielding in any baseball league. Expect to see more of the  Hiroshima Toyo Carp's CF Masato Akamatsu in the future. Unfortunately, by the time he comes over to MLB he'll probably be in the twilight of his career... Enjoy.

So the Braves have this fantastic home winning streak going. The Day arrives that I have tix for the game and guess what? Derek Lowe stunk up the place, Farnsworth then gave up two more late, as the boys lose 6-2. Lesson learned: avoid seats in the sun for day games in August!! I sure am gonna miss that handicapped parking pass...............

Everyone's favorite little despot is apparently alive and well, and he's on a mission - a mission to...uh...hey, what's he trying to prove?

Kim Jong-il is snarling  his teeth at the US, his southern neighbors and anyone who will listen. He's blowing up nukes and shooting off Estes rockets again to put some bite behind his bark - and once again starting to piss off the world. Today he announced that the North will no longer honor the 1953 Armistice, a move paramount to redeclaring war on the South.

Perhaps Hillary can craft a little peace deal with the North like her husband did over a decade ago. And hey, let's get the UN in on this too...But wait, why is this even happening? I mean, wasn't Bush 43 the only reason Kim, Mahmoud and Osama ever got their panties in a twist?  I thought the  election of Barrack Obama was supposed to put an end to all this international nastiness. Did they not get the word? 

Related 

Speaking of Korea, did you see that 7'2" Korean behemoth that put the beater on Jose Canseco in his MMA debut the other night?  Looks like all those roids didn't help much!

The world of professional Body Building has become pretty small since Arnold hung up the plates and headed for Hollywood.  Unable to attract anyone close to his caliber and personality, the sport has  wallowed around the fringe of the athletic world for years. The one thing that hasn't changed? Beneath all the pain and gain in the weight room, the sine qua non for  success has always been a carefully regulated chemical diet of Deca, Clen  and Winnie. After all, these dudes just don't get this huge pumping rubber bands on a Bowflex.

Let's face it, taking roids away from a professional BB is like Chipper Jones hitting a fastball with a wiffle bat -- or Brian Boitano figure skating without a faggy costume!

Bodybuilders flee drug testers; event canceled

BRUSSELS (AP) - The Belgian bodybuilding championship has been canceled after doping officials showed up and all the competitors fled.

A doping official says bodybuilders just grabbed their gear and ran off when he came into the room.

"I have never seen anything like it and hope never to see anything like it again," doping official Hans Cooman said Monday.

Twenty bodybuilders were entered in the weekend competition.

Cooman says the sport has a history of doping "and this incident didn't do its reputation any good."

 

 From an actual ad on Craigslist:

I'll do ANYTHING for a ticket to the superbowl! - $1 (Pittsburgh)

You heard me right. ANYTHING!

I have a problem. I NEED to go to the Superbowl but I can't afford the $2000 ticket. What do I have to offer otherwise? Myself.

• -I can fix your pipes.
• -Shovel your snow for a year.
• -Repair your computer.
• -Drive your kids around.
• -Entertain you by performing a stupid dare.
• -Bang your wife.
• -Clean your house for a year

YOU NAME IT I CAN DO IT (I won't cut my hair or kill anyone). I just need you to give me your Superbowl ticket.

Email me with your offer and you can have your very own Troy Polamalu look alike!

 

 

Similar to the Bugatti vs. Eurofighter but not as cool - this is a ground race only.  Block 25 is underpowered/slow - wouldn't have been close vs a Blk 30 or 50...

[video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0InYCDbYkMM 400x300]

 

 Being a Sox fan, I couldn't stand him. Seemed every time there was a game on the line against the dreaded Yanks, there was always some hope of pulling it out in the 8th or 9th inning -- until the Goose showed up on the mound. I can still see it clearly -- trotting out from the bullpen with the nasty scowl, jowls waddling with a cheek full of chew wrapped beneath the bolshy Fu Manchu.

Nothing fancy; just 100 MPH of  pure, unadulterated heat straight down the pipe, with  a good bit of chin music to keep the hitters outside. And just like that, the game was over. Twenty-two years in the show with 9 teams, plus a year in Japan. Nine-time All Star and a World Series ring. Congrats to Rich Gossage for making it into the Hall of Fame on his 9th try!

The whining coming from the NYC talk stations is that the Red Sox were favored due to Mitchell's involvement with Boston, and that the report will is biased against the NY teams because of that relationship. Is there any irony that the two guys that rolled over and gave names to Mitchell were affiliated with the Yankees and the Mets?

 Spies. Each and every one of them! The Red Sox. The New Evil Empire! And the new World Champions.

A couple of photos from the world of European Futbol. You spend enough time in Europe and you start to get familiar with the leagues over there. Just as long as I don't get as familiar as these guys are getting with each other.