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It's not like we didn't know what was in store for the military under this administration, what's surprising is it took him three years to do it...
YGBSM!
From the AP:
An Oregon woman who tried to circumcise her 3-month-old son at home after reading the Old Testament and watching YouTube videos has been sentenced to five years of probation.
Keemonta Peterson pleaded guilty to first-degree criminal mistreatment. The 30-year-old Portland woman must also undergo mental health treatment.
Peterson called 911 and the boy was rushed to a hospital last October after her botched effort left the infant bleeding uncontrollably and in intense pain. A prosecutor says (s)he has fully recovered.
Multnomah County Circuit Judge Eric Bergstrom told Peterson on Monday that "the reality is you love your children and had absolutely no intent to harm your child."
(Ok, ok, I edited the story slightly. The baby's fine...maybe.)
No, the reality, Judge Bergstrom,
[Ed note: The anonymous letter below has been floating around military email boxes and has apparently gotten the Sec. of Defense's panties in a twist. It seems Mr. Gates has no tolerance for those who speak the truth!]
Subject: Where Have All The Fighter Pilots Gone?
Good Question. Here is a rant from a retired fighter pilot that is worth reading:
It is rumored that our current secretary of defense recently asked the question, "Where are all the dynamic leaders of the past?" I can only assume, if that is true, that he was referring to Robin Olds, Jimmy Doolittle, Patton, Ike, Boyington, Nimitz, etc. I've got the answer.
They were fired before they made Major.
Our nation doesn't want those kinds of leaders anymore. Squadron commanders don't run squadrons and wing commanders don't run wings. They are managed by higher ranking dildos with other esoteric goals in mind. Can you imagine someone today looking for a LEADER to execute that Doolittle Raid and suggesting that it be given to a dare-devil boozer-his only attributes: he had the respect of his men, an awesome ability to fly, and the organizational skills to put it all together. If someone told me there was a chance in hell of selecting that man today, I would tell them they were either a liar or dumber than shit.
I find it ironic that the Air Force put Gen Olds on the cover of the company rag last month. While it made me extremely proud to see his face, he wouldn't make it across any base in America (or overseas) without ten enlisted folks telling him to zip up his flight suit and shave his mustache off. I have a feeling that his response would be predictable and for that crime he would probably get a trip home and an Article 15.
We have lost the war on rugged individualism and that, unfortunately, is what fighter pilots want to follow; not because they have to but because they respect leaders of that ilk. We've all run across that leader that made us proud to follow him because you wanted to be like him and make a difference. The individual who you would drag your testicles through glass for rather than disappoint him.
We better wake the hell up! We're asking our young men and women to go to shitty places, some with unbearable climates, never have a drink, have little or no contact with the opposite sex, not look at magazines of a suggestive nature of any type, and adhere to ridiculous regs that require you to tuck your shirt into your PT uniform on the way to the porta-shitter at night in a dust storm because it's a uniform. These people we're sending to combat are some of the brightest I've met but they are looking for a little sanity, which they will only find on the outside if we don't get a friggin' clue. You can't continue asking people to live for months or years at a time acting like nuns and priests. Hell, even they get to have a beer. Who are we afraid of offending? The guys that already hate us enough to strap C4 to their own bodies and walk into a crowd of us? Think about it.
I'm extremely proud of our young men and women who continue to serve. I'm also very in tune with what they are considering for the future and I've got news for whoever sits in the White House, congress, and our so-called military leaders. Much talent has and will continue to hemorrhage from our services, because wanna-be warriors are tired of fighting on two fronts--one with our enemies, another against our lack of common sense.
Victor Suvorov's 1986 book Inside the Aquarium: The Making of a Top Soviet Spy tells the story of the GRU, the ultra-secret Soviet military intelligence group tasked with protecting the communist state during the Cold War. A decent read back then as I recall, but the one thing I remember vividly from it is a small blurb about how the government handled traitors: Execution by firing squad, with a bill for the cost of the bullets presented to the traitor's surviving family members. Fast forward to 2010:
A car insurer has asked a Canadian family to pay for repairing a broken bumper after their dog was struck by the vehicle and died, local media said Thursday.
The traffic accident occurred in March while Jake, a 12-year-old yellow Labrador, was out for his daily stroll around a quiet neighborhood in Aurora, Ontario, north of Toronto.
Kim Flemming had let the dog out when she arrived home from work. Moments later, a man knocked on the door to say a car had run over Jake.
"I got to the road and he was dying," Flemming told the Toronto Star. "He died in my arms."
Two months later, the family received a bill in the mail for 1,732.80 Canadian dollars (1,648.95 US) from State Farm Insurance.
The letter said Flemming had been found responsible for damage to the vehicle. "As such, we are looking to you for reimbursement," it reportedly stated.
State Farm spokesman John Bordignon told the Star: "They could have made sure their dog wasn't free on the roadway."
A local bylaw requires pets to be on a leash when off the owner's property, but the Flemmings said Jake had become accustomed to roaming outside the family's home.
State Farm was not immediately available for further comment.
"We've lost a member of our family but we're supposed to pay for the damage to her bumper? That's just wrong," daughter Katherine Flemming said.
Details.com has published an exclusive interview with "Markus", the Shady Lady Ranch's first legal male hooker thanks to Nevada's recent approval of male prostitution. Markus is a 25 yr.old ex- Marine who was booted out of the Corps after two years on an 'other than honorable' for unspecified offences. Markus considers himself a pathfinder of civil rights in the mold of a Rosa Parks, and prefers to be called a 'gigolo' rather than a prostitute. "This isn't about selling my body. This is about changing social norms." Deep!
The Doofergods think Markus offers a poor alternative to Nax , for those women who, ah, well...
Last February we reported on a TV commercial featuring amateurish CGI animals choosing to do themselves in rather than face life on a planet Earth rapidly morphing into Thunderdome - thanks of course to man-made Global Warming. The 60-sec. bit starred a chimp, a kangaroo, and what now seems to be the GW lobby's cause celeb - the polar bear, all using creative ways to off themselves. Evidently they had enough of these bears left over for a new GW group, www.planestupid.com (a bunch of nuts who want to ban aviation), to make a new shock ad featuring last winter's survivors yet again snuffing it, this time by hurtling themselves off of skyscrapers. Where's ManBearPig when you need him?
Steve Burton, a bank clerk in Palm Springs, CA, recently attended his 20th high school reunion. Wanting to make a splash, he came costumed as a highly decorated US Marine LT Colonel, adorned with the Navy Cross, a Bronze Star, Legion of Merit, a Purple Heart, and dozens of other lesser awards. He chronicled his martial exploits on his own blog page, and shared the many heroic 'battles' he fought in Iraq and Afghanistan. (On his blog, he also appears as a Master Gunnery Sergent, below). Unfortunately for Steve, a classmate of his who also attended the reunion was a real-life Navy Commander. Sensing this guy was more full of shit than a table of six the day after a meal at PF Chang's, Cmdr. Colleen Salonga posed for a photo with him and quickly alerted the FBI.
Steve earns a Dooferbook trifecta tag for his blatant buffonery, supreme idiocy, and indefensible douchery - plus a Fail tag to boot!
Shortly after Major Hasan shouted "Allahu Akbar" and gunned down dozens of our men and women in a terroristic rampage, the Administration was quick to caution Americans to not "jump to conclusions." Today his fleshy hedgehog of a Homeland Security chief, Janet Napolitano, was out talking the Obama talk - meeting with groups across the country to try to "deflect any backlash against American Muslims." Excuse me? Our heroes have yet to be properly remembered and put to rest, and all Obama can think about is damage control? What's it gonna take, a nuke to a major city to wake these assholes up?
If the idea of a guys taking out a personal ad for a 'bromance' makes your stomach churn, check out these little news bits that offer more evidence that the 'demanlification' of the world's XY's is more advanced than first thought. For many of us, The 40 Year Old Virgin was our first introduction to the notion of 'manscaping' fashion, a practice on the opposite end of normal hetro male behavior. Most of us probably gave the idea of male waxing a laugh and a cringe and haven't thought much of it since. But two recent media reports indicate that the testosterone world is becoming more unmanly than previously thought:
From the UK Daily Mail: Breast reductions amongst men rocket 1,000 per cent in five years
Breast reduction for men? What's wrong with an old-fashioned benchpress or a P-90X DVD? Penis reduction is one thing to brag about, but breast reduction?
From Fox News: More Men Likely to Groom Their Eyebrows These Days
Eyebrow grooming and elective plastic surgery are nothing new - and generally no big deal - but these kinds of things were always better left out of the public domain. The big concern is the willingness of today's 'manscapers' to admit this kind of stuff in public - I mean really, has pride itself become a thing of the past?
From the "no feat is worth a damn until your friends know about it" department comes CA Assemblyman Mike Duvall - a self-proclaimed "family values" politician - bragging to a colleague about porking some young lobbyist. What really bothers me is the obvious corruption this douchebag must be involved in if he's boning lobbyists. Off with his head, I say!
Don Charney is CEO and President of American Apparel, Inc. (APP), the largest clothing manufacturer in the US. AA is not doing too well these days, but Charney has a bang-up idea on how to rebrand AA's image and help boost sales: Fire all its 'ugly' employees. Full Story
Seriously, has this guy never seen himself in a mirror?
Amazon. com has had an unlikely hit with their Kindle electronic book readers. The device allows you to download e-books from the Amazon server and take the 'book' with you wherever you go - kinda like, uh... a book I guess. To be fair, the Kindle will store up to 1500 non-illustrated books, which means you could carry around more books than you'll ever read right in your flight kit. If only it wasn't so damn ugly!
The Kindle created quite a stir last week when Amazon discovered a couple of George Orwell titles it sold to thousands of customers had been pirated by the publisher of the e-books. Their solution was to automatically wipe out editions of 1984 and Animal Farm from users' Kindles with their master server. The Kindle is a wireless device which communicates with the mother ship back at Amazon HQ to facilitate delivery- and now obviously deletion - of their digital content. Critics pointed out the potential danger in this system, as it seems plausible that Amazon can also track what you read and when you read it. This opens up a slew of nefarious possibilities from linking your reading habits to targeted advertising or reporting them to a higher authority - remember, they already have your vital personal information on file. Sounds like 1984 to me!
Former South Korean President Roh Moo-hyun, mired in a bribery scandal from his years in office, snuffed himself out yesterday with a leap from a 100-foot cliff. Wouldn't it be nice if our own corrupt politicians took a cue from this guy ?
Manfred Nowak is the UN's special "rapporteur" for torture, and he's got a stick up his ass because a few poor-little Al Qaeda terrorists got a dunking from the CIA. Apparently he has a problem with using 'torture' to extract info from terrorists in order to save human lives. Nowak is an Austrian law professor and he says that the US is obligated to prosecute Bush administration officials under United nations conventions. Huh?
This inked up 'actress' was also pretty pissed off last week, this time over the "Tea Party" demonstrations that went on around the country on April 15th. For the life of me, I couldn't come up with a single movie Janeane Garofalo ever did, but for some reason whenever she wants to start flapping her gums, the press is there. Here's what she had to say:
"This is about hating a black man in the White House. This is racism straight up. That is nothing but a bunch of teabagging rednecks. "
Hmm, I never knew that not liking to pay taxes made me a redneck racist...
Ah...it's refreshing to see our new Commander-in-Chief yucking it up with 3rd world punk Hugo Chavez. Perhaps this will be the start of a great new relationship with our misunderstood neighbor from the south! After all, we will soon share a lot in common with the Venezuelan people under Chavez - the end to free speech, sham elections and the nationalization of industry.
And could Sean Penn have actually been on a 'Kissinger to China' mission a few years ago, setting the stage for this historic meeting? Inquiring minds want to know.
In yet another move that would make MLK roll over in his grave, the King offspring have demanded an $800,000 payment for use of the civil rights leader's words and image. The organization that has to cough it up? The MLK National Memorial Project Foundation, who commisioned a 28-foot granite statue of the man that will be turned over to the National Park Service and located between the Lincoln and Jefferson memorials in DC and when it's complete.
"I don't think the Jefferson family, the Lincoln family ... I don't think any other group of family ancestors has been paid a licensing fee for a memorial in Washington," said Cambridge University historian David Garrow, who won a Pulitzer Prize for his biography of King. "One would think any family would be so thrilled to have their forefather celebrated and memorialized in D.C. that it would never dawn on them to ask for a penny."
My experience with the Canadian military was never anything but positive. Like the Brits and the Yanks, Canadians are always up for a good fight especially if it involves taking down asshole groups like Al Qaeda. Despite a military budget that is a fraction of what we spend, they have some very highly trained soldiers and airmen which makes them pound-for-pound on par with any military force in the world.
Canada has stood shoulder to shoulder with the US in almost every major "good vs. evil"conflict and went into Afghanistan very early on. They operate in one of the most dangerous provinces over there and their casualty rate is four times that of the US. Because of that, Canadian Lt Gen Andrew Leslie recently came out and said that after Canada's deployment in Afghanistan ends in 2011, Canada's military may need a year to recover. A couple of douchebags on the Fox News show "Red Eye" took exception to this statement. I've never watched this show on Fox, and the banter below ensures that I never will:
Canada sometimes gets a bad wrap in the media, especially when one of those ultra-liberals from Parliament starts railing on the evils of American foreign and economic policy. Fortunately those types are a vociferous minority, and most Canadians share the share the same values and beliefs as we do. (I know because I married one). Fox host Greg Gutfeld and panelist Doug Benson, who both look like they never shot a BB gun let alone serve in the military - are way out of line here and hereby judged guilty of "indefensible douchery."
PALERMO (Reuters) - A Tunisian pilot who paused to pray instead of taking emergency measures before crash-landing his plane, killing 16 people, has been sentenced to 10 years in jail by an Italian court along with his co-pilot.
The 2005 crash at sea off Sicily left survivors swimming for their lives, some clinging to a piece of the fuselage that remained floating after the ATR turbo-prop aircraft splintered upon impact.
A fuel-gauge malfunction was partly to blame but prosecutors also said the pilot succumbed to panic, praying out loud instead of following emergency procedures and then opting to crash-land the plane instead trying to reach a nearby airport.
Another five employees of Tuninter, a subsidiary of Tunisair, were sentenced to between eight and nine years in jail by the court, in a verdict handed down Monday.
The seven accused, who were not in court, will not spend time in jail until the appeals process has been exhausted.
(Writing by Phil Stewart)
While Obama runs around making an ass out of himself as he runs this country into the ground, let's not forget everyone's favorite buffoon, Joe "Hair Plugs" Biden. Joe has made a career out of being a complete douchebag, from his blatant campaign speech plagiarism to his weekly gaffes with or without a teleprompter. It never ceases to amaze me how politicians will just totally make shit up on the fly if they think it will sound good...with total disregard of the truth. The world of politics is much like the old false proof in mathematics, where, using algebraic trickery, 1 can be shown to "equal" 2 (see below!).
Joe's douchery has been well documented over at YouTube, and the following video is a glaring example that got very little play in the press during the campaign.This asshole is completely out of touch with not just the world in general, but also with grade school level American history. Joe wins the Dooferbook Tag Trifecta for his stupidity!
__________________________________________________
False proof 1=2
Step 1: a and b > 0
Step 2: a = b
Step 3: a^2 = ab
Step 4: a^2 - b^2 = ab - b^2
Step 5: (a + b)(a - b) = b(a - b)
Step 6: (a + b) = b
Step 7: b + b = b
Step 8: 2b = b
Step 9: 2 = 1
Where did we go wrong?
Why is this guy smiling? He hasn't paid any income tax for two years, that's why! Taking a cue from other Democratic scoundrels like Daischle and Geithner, Georgia State Senator Robert Brown is one of 22 GA legislators who have either not filed or not paid state and federal income tax, some for several years. This number represents almost 10% of the entire legislature! For obvious reasons, Brown has been busy fighting a new Georgia senate rule that allows harsh punitive action against such douchebags.
No doubt he will easily win re-election next year...
This little blurb came across the Dooferbook wire today, and in light of the rapidly sinking economy, clearly illustrates what being a douchebag is all about...
SUNY Potsdam President Dr. John Schwaller has won an $8,600 salary hike, three months after warning that salaries need to be trimmed, according to the Daily Courier Observer.
The raise, given by SUNY officials in Albany takes Schwaller's salary to $193,600.
Schwaller's compensation also includes quarters at the President's home overlooking the campus, and a state vehicle, the paper reported.
Schwaller is one of five SUNY Presidents getting raises after their annual reviews.
Three months ago, Schwaller instituted a hiring freeze and warned that salaries need to be trimmed because of the state budget crisis, the Courier Observer said.
Everyone's favorite domestic terrorist group was busy canvassing this week's Westminster Dog Show in NYC - dressed in the height of KKK fashion. A PETA spokesman claimed that the American Kennel Club is actively trying to create a "master race" by promoting "pure bloodlines" in their recognized breeds, an agenda on par with the beliefs of hate groups such as the KKK. Hmmm...wonder where were these sheet-draped idiots were during the Michael Vick dog-fighting trial?
[ed. note: Penn and Teller made an excellent info-mentary about PETA which can be viewed here.]
From an actual ad on Craigslist:
I'll do ANYTHING for a ticket to the superbowl! - $1 (Pittsburgh)
You heard me right. ANYTHING!
I have a problem. I NEED to go to the Superbowl but I can't afford the $2000 ticket. What do I have to offer otherwise? Myself.
YOU NAME IT I CAN DO IT (I won't cut my hair or kill anyone). I just need you to give me your Superbowl ticket.
Email me with your offer and you can have your very own Troy Polamalu look alike!
Al Gore - aka "ManBearPig"- has been busy rewriting world history. Gore argues that Mayan civilization became a victim of its own environmental excesses and destroyed itself.
Below is an except from his daily blog :
"New study suggests the Mayan civilization might have collapsed due to environmental disasters"
Let's point a few things about the Mayans that Gore obviously doesn't get. First off, the Mayans are quite alive (and have been since the days of Cortez), although with smallpox, syphillus and other epidemics, one could argue that they haven't always been well. Yes, their pre-Colombian ways changed as they were assimilated into Western civilization, but the Mayans are still cranking out crummy tapestries, rope hammocks and mystical reproductions of their ancient calendars. They peddle these things in new age 'wisdom' shops around the world and sell kick-ass dope to beach-goers who visit the Yucatan.
So what was this great environmental disaster? Gore cites the following from environmental archaeologist Kitty Emery of the Florida Museum of Natural History:
[Their] ecosystems were destroyed by mismanagement or were transformed by global climatic shifts, the depletion of agricultural and wild foods eventually contributed to the failure of the Maya sociopolitical system."
The Yucatan is an immensely fertile region that will grow anything (ref. beach-goers above). Spanish colonial settlement in the Yucatan in the wake of Cortez was huge, and while the New Worlders in Mexico faced many obstacles, food isn't mentioned as one of them. In gardening terms, the Yucatan is Zone 11, Jamestown Zone 7 and Plymouth is barely Zone 6. All sorts of shit will grow in Zone 11 as evidenced by the lush jungle that covers the bulk of the region. But none of this seems to matter with Gore.
"As we move towards solving the climate crisis, we need to remember the consequences to civilizations that refused to take environmental concerns seriously."
This last line is utterly ridiculous and testifies to the wanton disregard of the historical record by revisionists like Gore. Usually these people take the other end of the debate and put the whole blame on Colombus for the decline of the New World indians. So which is it?
Hitler really did have only one ball, according to claims by a German army medic who saved the Führer's life during the First World War.By Alastair Jamieson Last Updated: 1:03PM GMT 19 Nov 2008
Although it was known Hitler suffered a groin injury in the Somme, evidence that he was 'monorchic' - the medical word for the condition - has evaded historians Photo: PA
The Nazi leader lost a testicle during the Battle of the Somme in 1916, the doctor claimed.
The medical condition, for which there has never been conclusive proof, was mocked in the Second World War ditty which begins: "Hitler has only got one ball, the other is in the Albert Hall."
The disclosure is made in a document noting a conversation in the 1960s between German war doctor Johan Jambor and his priest, Franciszek Pawlar, according to The Sun. The priest's document has come to light 23 years after Jambor's death.
Although it was known Hitler suffered a groin injury in the Somme, evidence that he was 'monorchic' - the medical word for the condition - has evaded historians.
Blassius Hanczuch, a friend of Jambor, said the doctor later blamed himself for saving Hitler's life. He said: "In 1916 they had their hardest fight in the Battle of the Somme. For several hours, Johan and his friends picked up injured soldiers. He remembers Hitler. They called him the 'Screamer'. He was very noisy. Hitler was screaming 'help, help'.
"His abdomen and legs were all in blood. Hitler was injured in the abdomen and lost one testicle. His first question to the doctor was: 'Will I be able to have children?'."
The popular song emerged in 1939 and is thought to have been written by a publicist for the British Council, which was tasked with helping build propaganda that would damage the Nazis.
The commonly-recalled version is an adaption of the original, which ran: "Göring has only got one ball, Hitler's [are] so very small, Himmler's so very similar, And Goebbels has no balls at all."
Meet Steve Lipski, a Jersey City Councilman charged with simple asssault for whipping his hog out and drenching concertgoers from the balcony of a DC nightclub.
Despite being caught in the act by staffers, Lipski is going the "deny everything" route and claiming that what actually happened was an accidental drink spill from the balcony, and that no piss was involved. In a statement made to reporters, Lipski added, "I've resolved not to touch alcohol again." What a douche!
According to everyone's favorite Nation of Islam leader, Screwy Louie Farrakhan, Barack Obama is the next messiah! And I thought he was just another politician. Republican or Democrat, they're all the same...the same douchebags we all knew in high school who ran for Student Council and spent many a day on the receiving end of a wedgy in the bathroom. The kids who got all emotional and testy fighting over what the theme for the next Homecoming dance would be, and carried that fight in much larger form to the US Congress. And now we have one who's being deified! YGBSM!
According to a new book by a Japanese professor who specializes in Korean affairs, one of the fearless leaders of the Axis of Evil died of diabetes-related complications back in 2003, leaving behind a small group of lookalikes to represent his Eminence to the North Korean people and the outside world. He points to voice print analysis , intelligence reports from inside North Korea and reports from people who supposedly met with 'Kim' face to face in the last five years as proof. If true, who guessed that Team America: World Police would prove so prescient?
I watch Keith Olbermann's "Countdown" show on MSNBC every now and then to see the latest conspiracy theory he's cooked up and to watch him make a complete ass out of himself pontificating about it. He is a master at twisting words around to fit his agenda and does so with a smugness that makes you want to jump into the TV set and punch his lights out. Last Friday's show didn't disappoint, but he chose the wrong guy to beat up on - America's most decorated veteran and former POW Bud Day, still going strong at age 83. Referring to him as a "clown", Olbermann featured Day in his "World's Worst Person" segment. And what precipitated such a distinction? Day's remark that he was not ready to bow down to the Muslim terrorists and concede defeat in the War on Terror - which , btw, Olbermann is on the record as saying is fake.
